Fat Girl Mentality

When you grow up overweight you start to believe things...that either you were told, were inferred, or past events have you believing. I've always believed that I am slow...at everything. When I played softball unless I wailed the ball to at least shortstop the chances of me getting to first were slim. I was never a fast runner...I was what is known in the running world...a plotter.

Last week I had a lightbulb moment. So my C25K app trackers your pace. After a typical run I looked at the my pace, this will be embarrassing, my pace was 11:51. I saw that and thought to myself I might as well be walking! My theory was always, you aren't a real runner save your energy to finish your run. But 11:51!?! Come on! So the following run I kicked it up and got my pace down to 10:11! In the running world that's a large chunk of time. Clearly something was wrong. The following time I ran...I just ran. Knowing to push myself but to be able to finish the run...9:25! That's a 2:25 difference!

It's hard to get over the thoughts that come with a life time of being fat. The March Issue of Runner's World has an article that sums it up.

"Mirrors are not to be believed. You stand in front of them, knowing that you can't trust yourself as an arbiter of truth, so you turn from side to side, thinking that maybe, if you snap your head around quickly enough, you can actually see yourself as others see you. It never works of course. You star and you turn, and wonder: Am I fat? 'If you've ever been fat, you will either be fat for the rest of you life or you will worry about being fat the rest of your life'" Peter Sagal A Thin Line